As a sexuality educator, I have been honored to meet individuals with developmental disabilities, their families and paid caregivers in a variety of circumstances. Many understand and embrace the idea of people with disabilities as sexual beings. Some struggle with the topic, and are not quite sure if they are ready to pursue additional information.

Regardless of their comfort level, the people I meet are seeking assistance to help their client, loved one or themselves understand and express their sexuality in safe, healthy and fun ways.

Defining Sexuality

In my experience, I have learned that having a broader understanding of what sexuality is provides everyone involved with information and tools to overcome hesitation and begin to proactively build supports for the person. This is the definition I use:

Sexuality is the integration of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual aspects of an individual’s personality that express maleness and femaleness. It begins at birth and affects all the senses; it is not limited to genitals. Sexuality involves identity, reproduction, sensuality and intimacy.

From: Who Cares? A Handbook on Sex Education and Counseling Services for Disabled People. (Cornelius, D., Chipouras, S., Makas, E., Daniels, S. 1979. University Park Press, Baltimore.)

A definition that make sense

I like this definition for several reasons.

First, by saying that sexuality is both part of our personality and a lifelong part of who we are as human beings, it emphasizes the inherent nature of sexuality for all people.

Second, it lists four aspects of our personality that are integral to our sexuality: physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual – clarifying that the physical aspect is only one area of sexuality, not the entire deal.

Finally, it identifies four avenues through which we both develop and express sexuality: identity, reproduction, sensuality and intimacy.

Sexuality is a part of us all

It is important to have a good idea of what sexuality entails so that the thought of it doesn’t scare us away from providing education, support and opportunities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD) to fully develop this important aspect of their personality.

Sexuality is always a part of who we are and we, as family members and paid caregivers, must create healthy and safe ways for children and adults with I/DD to build their own ways of understanding and expressing sexuality.