As a doctor for children, I often talk to parents about school refusal. There are many reasons why children do not want to go to school and the reasons change with age.
Here I summarize a list for the most common causes of school refusal. Some are typical for age and some require help and support.
Separation anxiety.Children who become very sad and worry when their parents leave. It can start at 6-7 months of age. Peaks at age 15-18 months. Most children cry when parents leave, but can calm fast and they are happy to see their parents at pick up time. Children who cannot calm down, refuse to play with other kids, may need help.
What parents can do;
Talk to your children about school in simple words “its School time, play time”.
Remind them of things they like to do at school.
Use rewards. A reward can be a fun activity that you do together.
Performance Anxiety. Definition: Children who escape certain class activities. Examples are; reading in front of the class or being called on to answer questions.
What parents can do;
Talk to teachers, they will give important information about how your children are doing in the classroom.
Work with the teachers to make a plan, for example; allow time for them to raise hand or practice reading before the class starts.
Use stars reward system for “reading out loud”.
Tell them you are happy with their hard work, even if they were not successful.
Learning Disability (LD). Definition: difficulties with school academics. Difficulties can be in; reading, writing, math or in more than one topic.
What parents can do;
Ask teachers about topics that are hard for your children.
Remember that not doing well in school, can make students sad or angry.
ADHD. Definition: It is a medical condition that makes it difficult to listen and pay attention. It is due to changes in the brain chemicals. ADHD is more noticed when children move to higher grades. Children with ADHD can be misunderstood. As a result, making friends can be hard.
What parents can do;
Talk with the teachers. Ask if your children act same at home and school?
Talk to your doctor. ADHD is very common and can be treated with medications and some additional help at home and school.
Bullying. Definition: when a person or a group repeatedly harm someone. It can be; physical, calling out names or using the social network to post bad things.
What parents can do;
Ask Children if they ever get hurt in school or called names.
Ask the school counselor and the teacher to help you find out more if you have any reason to think about your children being bullied.
Get children help through therapist, share with your school and your doctor.
Depression. Definition: low mood and loss of interest in fun activities. It is more common among older children/teenagers. Depressed children can be irritable or angry not sad. It is important to notice any other changes to your children mood and behaviors at home.
What parents can do;
Talk to the school counselor, your doctor or someone in your community to help you with resources.
